bestie's heart necklace! pretty right?


last picture for the night.

playing a melody? mm..


best threw twisties at me, and all landed on the floor, then fed it to the plants. oops.


best and I <3sss

chippy snacks!! :)


twisties in mashed potatoes? haha.

bestie!! i forgot the name of that drink again.

thank goodness,
cactus do not need much water to survive,
otherwise my dearest plants would have been dead by now.
=(

after 6 days of dance,
lots to catch up with now.
wouldn't be blogging for some time i guess.
hibernation mode.
its a month and 3 days more to prelims.
exactly 3 months to Os.
what if i cant get into vjc/cjc?
some chapalang jc i'll be in?

the week has been rather awful,
especially today.
i feel so paranoid whenever i think that i have one demerit point.
i may have a clear record still,
but i might get one.
its all up to kangkang(DM) to decide.
i seriously never knew about the fact that i cant use my ipod during free periods.
no one has ever warned me,
even when they see me use it.
my friends did be telling me off now,
cause im not suppose to compare.
the fact that she shows biasness towards her class,
makes me feel so inferior,
just because I'm not in a triple science class?
she can merely tell her students to put away their mobiles,
yet confiscate my ipod during free period.
she was kind enough to let me have it till Tuesday,
cause my audition is on Monday.
the only thing I'm afraid of is getting a demerit point.
it'll ruin my clean record.
thus,
because of this whole incident I've been on silent mode the whole day.
worst still,
i cant put my heart and soul into doing something.
feel so disappointed with myself.
im so sorry,
that ive caused you to feel so annoyed,
and irritated.
i should have kept the comments and complains to myself.

are people with high forehead smart?!
why do people always think that you are smart,
just because you have a high forehead?
mhmm..

granduncle passed away this morning.
only today,
i came to learn more about my granduncle.
he had another daughter,
which was the youngest.
wife died, when she gave birth to her.
granduncle was the sole breadwinner,
so he didnt had the time to look after her.
thus,
he paid this couple,
and put her under their care.
after some time,
they they took her and left.
granduncle has never seen her again since then.
only after he died,
my aunty called her.
she came this morning to put his clothes on him.

before i left the wake,
i took a glimpse of granduncle.
my heart sunk.
he looked totally different.
he looked as if he was an indian?
scary..
he no longer had his beer belly,
that he used to have.
he was so scrawny.
aunt said he died peacefully.
(the only good thing that i heard)

in the beginning,
things were mutual.
soon after,
feelings developed.
although we may have the urge to confess,
which already happened,
i felt relieved.
anyway,
i was so afraid to tell you about it,
cause i was afraid that things might change,
but you took the first step,
nothing changed.
as others began to know about it,
things still remain the same,
i was thankful.
i really appreciated you,
for what you have done,
the sacrifices you have made.
i truly treasured the times i had with you.
you made school more exciting for me.
you may not be perfect,
you may have a terrible past.
despite,
we should not look back,
but always be forward-looking.
so who cares about your past?
now,
we talked about other stuff.
yet again,
i got the same fear.
the problem lies with me for sure,
to break this bondage of fear.
i enjoyed every moment that we had spent together.
the times we would walk aimlessly as we talk,
the times we enjoy the scenery together.
the times you surprised me,
the times we talk on the phone,
even the times we were msging.
can things just be as it is now?
and remain where it is for the time being?
i dont ask for much,
cause i know by doing so,
matters will get worst.
i miss that little starfish.
well..
let God plan;
let time reveal.

i just got scolded by mom.
cause i switch on the light in the toilet,
in the morning,
and i forgot to turn it off.
dad came home,
and he found out.
maid got scolded,
guess im gonnna get screwed by her tmr.
my said she did slap me,
if this ever happen again.
=(

granduncle is in a critical condition.
he calls me malaysia la,
cause he cant pronounce my name.
mom was telling me that he didnt ask about anyone,
but kept asking about me.
i teared when mom told me.

"what are you waiting for?"
says the Lord.

feels weird not going for svc.
anyway,
was freaking pissed this afternoon.
nothing went well today.
morning,
was raining when i reached jurong east.
flag day was delayed,
cause we went back late from holland V.
reached home late.
the weather somehow changed,
and i was having a headache,
so i took some time to rest.
not a single soul was home when i reached home,
the water was freezing cold,
so i had to carry the boiled water from the kitchen to the toilet.
showered,
left home.
walked a feww steps,
after i shut the door,
i remembered i forgot to take something,
so i went back again.
jam on the way to town,
cause of NDP.
it so sucks.
one may say that the place i lived at is rather convenient,
but if you were to have this sort of encounter every year,
it gets pretty annoying.
reached town at like 4.30.
i was flustered after i collected my pay.
taxi queues were like snakes,
congregation everywhere,
trains were packed like sardins.
it was just total crazy-ness!
and because i was rushing,
my bag suffered.
i know its damn gay la,
but i felt so sorry for my dearest bag.
by the time i reached home,
i was so exhausted.
i think singapore is suffering from overpopulation.
scarce land;large population.
i know it benefits the economy la,
but still pragmatic wise,
i think singapore is becoming too small a country,
to withstand the ever growing population.
(rah must thinking the i studied too much. haha!)

#1) VJC called me up last sunday.
they asked meto go for thedance auditions on 23rd july.
i'll be trying my best,
cause afterall its my dream JC that i did like to go.
however,
there are some stuff that i've to make serious considerations about.
-will i be able to cope with the stress level?
-will it be a healthy environment for me to study in?
what do you people think?
do give me some advice,
cause i really need to get some opinions.

#2)im really thankful,
cause its my last year in smss,
and i finally get the chance to attend speech day,
to receive a prize.(mathematics prize)
i was reallly shocked,
excited i can say.
as you know its my 1st time!

#3)i had O'lvl chinese orals today.
i think i kinda screwed it up.
i felt that the whole thing was over so quickly.
its just like a glance,
and you go"oh! its over!"
anyway,
i was kinda disappointed with myself.
i got extremely affected,
when i found out that i read one word wrongly.
i just felt so insecure about my results.
but NOW,
im feel sooo relieved!
no more secrets to keep,
nothing!
the feeling of not hiding anything feels really awesome.
tremendous i can say.
a feeling that i havent felt in ages,
ever since i started bottling up everything.
although i do wish we did get together,
but its good to take things slow,
and i respect that.
it makes the friendship healthy,
and strong at the same time.
that i believe it'll keep this ship travelling miles.
im glad, so glad!
hope i can focus better on my studies now,
and not worry so much.
no time to worry,
and whats the point of worrying,
makes health deteriorate.
bad.bad.

(group hug JJAVSS'D!)

bored..
amath class now.

was i too silly to do what i've done?
im regretting..

dearvan dearvan...
must focus!
otherwise mom,dad will scold.
dont think soo much dear girl.

hahaha..
i think im nuts,
blogging to myself.

love?jealousy?sensitivity?envy?
cant decide,
and aint sure which is the right one.
right now,
my heart is just like a magnet,
and the magnetic flux does not have a fixed direction in which it is pointing.
north?south? wtf.