Monday, February 19, 2007
today was a boring cny.
i met joy at tp central,
to kill time.
it felt as though we were in a haunted town,
cause most of the shops were closed,
not a single soul at certain part.
it was really quite.
i got became rather sad and lonley after i got home at about 9.
bro and sis were preparing to go out,
as for me,
i had to stay home.
when i was in the lift with mom and dad,
dad told me this,
"you better go home and study"
"but i already finished my work"
"dont give me such excuses, your work has no end,
you have to study continuously."
i kept quiet all the way.
didnt talk to anyone.
i just didnt have the mood to do anything.
the reason why i spent so much time studying the past few days,
was to try to complte the pile of work i had,
which i managed to before cny,
so that i could take a break,
but i guess i cat now.
HAPPY CNY EVERYBODY!
@ 12:00 AM
Saturday, February 17, 2007
the week has been really bad for me. =(
got caught for short skirt.
mrs seet was damn sacarstic!
she came up to me and she said,
"congratulations vanessa! you have grown taller."
darn it! i was super pissed off man.
the next day,
she touch the tip of my uniform and said:
"ohh.. this is a different uniform."
"eh.. yar. obviously its another uniform." lol.
and the following day she did the same thing and gave a kitty smile.
came out from the toilet and got caught by mr lee,
for wearing fbts for cheer prac.
so i went back in to the toilet,
and waited till he left.
ran out off school.
got stopped by prefect from wearing PE attire out of school.
how shitty can this get huh?!
so i went back in to school,
made a detour,
and went out by the front gate.
silly prefects tried to see if i really did change.
haha! but i went out from the main gate.lol.
and the two silly prefects were still waiting at the side gate.
went for svc on thrusday,
and bingren met mom,
mom told him the same old stuff.
im rude.. blah blah blah...
comparing all the time as usual.
sis is good,
and im the badgirl.
always the bad one,
never the good one in her eyes.=(
i kept thinking of how much work i had,
that i got all so stressed and pressurized,
that i could barely complete any.
7 pieces of homework to be completed within 2 days!!
well.. i stayed up till 2am,
and manage to complete 4 pieces.
i had to wake up at 7.30am,
and head down to ccab for cheer prac.
down with 3 more for today,
way to go!!! =)
dont laugh at this,
but i've been spending quite some time in the toilet,
thinking of new cheer steps to teach the rest.
too shy to do it in front of family mem,
so well.. the toilet is probably the best place. =P
cleaning the house and all,
make the cny mood sets in,
feeling excited yet dreadful.
excited to put on my new clothes,
dreadful because of what my relatives are gonna ask.
@ 6:15 PM
Friday, February 09, 2007
probably it wasnt such a bad day today,
but my math result spoiled my day.
i see no hope..
no point of studying so hard anymore.
maybe my expectation is just too high?!
too me it was a realistic target for emath.
which made me really really disappointed.
we gathered around,
mr chan was readin our results.
some were happy,
they were happy about getting A2,
but i wasnt.
i wasnt satisfied.
i never knew i did cry about it,
but i did.
i actually cried because of a fucking A2.
which SUCK!!its NOT good.
nobody fucking knows how important emath is to me.
i still remeber i used to tear my paper into pieces in sec2,
cause i didnt do as well as i expected.
if i was given the slip of paper today,
i did do the same thing.
no point crying anymore,
whats done is doone,
know thats what many people are gonna say tio me.
-DONT CONGRATS ME( cause its a bad grade)-DONT ASK ME WHAT I GOT ( its clearly stated, i'll tear again whenever i say it)-DONT ASK WHAT MY PARENTS SAID( cause it was disappointing to hear)
*should i retake or should i not retake my emath paper?!*
(tag me/text me to advice me)
i really dont know what to do.
@ 4:51 PM
Monday, February 05, 2007
WHY?!is it weird that i keep quite?
cant i be silent?
everyone thinks that somoething is wrong with me when i dont say a word.
why is this so??!
is it easy to tell that im unhappy?
why cant i hide and keep my saddness to myself?
people are really scary.
somethings its best not to say to somebody.
but its so tough to tell whether you can trust that person.
i feel so sick and tired of my life.
can someone answer my questions?
@ 12:12 AM
feel super shity now,
i wish i could have things my way.
i dont want to be in bingren's cell.
not that i have something against him,
but i hate to adapt to a new environment.
having new people to question about my life.
i know this thought of my is wrong,
but i dont feel like going to church anymore.
not because i dont love God anymore,
or lost faith in him.
i still believe in God,
but its just argh man..
can i just go to church and not be in any cell?!
mega restless now,
i cant even concentrate on practicing my amath.
the skies are grey for me today.
my family peeps are super annoying,
and they pisses me off.
i had a bad day.. gloomy day... =(((
@ 12:09 AM