http://www.vanessas-life.blogspot.com/

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

TO everyone reading my blog:
tag me if you know how to create a password for blogs.
cause i wanna create a password for my blog,
but i dont know how to.
wish my brother is back,
he'll probably know how to,
but he is curently at tekong.

anyway its been a long time,
i havent felt like blogging so i didnt,
been really busy with preparations for my exams.
my first paper is on the coming friday.
about my life,
its BORING!!!
all i could do everyday is to study!
what else can i do?
i've got no idea.
i had fun over the weekends,
at fop, and during chc 17th anni.
yep! it was great!!
bay stayed over at my place,
to make sure that i'll be home by eleven.lol
im sorry bay i "slap"you while sleeping.
my hands are just too long.
recently, thoughts came flashing.
it made me ponder anf think about loads of stuff.
sorry, but i dont wish to name about it.
all i can, is that its affecting me.
i cant help it,
but to make myself study more like 24/7
to stop myself from thinking,
having wild thoughts, that confuse me.
i feel itss the only way i can stop thinking.
i cant think of anything else that i can do.
i feel like giving up,
sometimes i felt like a complete total asshole.
like im A TOTAL IDIOT!
sometimes, thinking about it,
i feel stupid.
why am i doing this to myself?
but yet why is it so tough to let go?
well.. i can say jealousy always kills everything.
it forms hatred between friendships.
it makes everything turn sour.
i wonder how somebody can stop oneself from feeling jealous.
i really dont know.
A COMPLETE LOST SOUL, SEARCHING FOR AN ANSWER.
i dont what to say,
people care,
they wanna know,
but i dont know how i can bring it across.
it take lots of courage for me to do something like that.
each time, i __________ my heart becomes heavy.
so heavy, it sinks deep down to the bottom of my feet.
whenever i does that, i feel sooo ____.
but what can i do,
it affects me so badly.
i'm deciding what i can do now.
should i do what darl told me to?!
or should i just keep it this way?!
somebody tell me!
I WANT AN ANSWER!!
i feel so miserable inside.
God abba father.
heal my broken heart.
='(
RAHRAH, i cant do it.
i cannot not think about it.
i really treasureit a lot.
how rah?!
i cant bear to give it all up,
but i dont wanna lead a life like that.
=(

@ 12:54 AM